Ask Amy: Friend plans to lose her home, gain an RV
Sometimes, the most effective way to do this is through simple statements, followed by thoughtful questions, and listening with intent.
“Surrendering your childhood home is a huge change for you. I have to admit, I’ve been worrying about this. Have you thought it through enough? Have you considered the possible downsides?”
After you initiate a thoughtful, non-judgmental conversation and listen to her answers – then you should step back and be happy for her.
Dear Amy: My daughter, who is in her 40’s, has always had a bit of a weight problem, as have I. But having to work from home during Covid resulted in her gaining even more weight. I think she is around 80 pounds overweight.
We are very close, and I am sympathetic since I have struggled with weight issues since I was a teenager. But even though I could lose 10 pounds, I am at a healthy weight and am careful to get exercise and try to eat well.
I blame myself for her weight gains, since when my kids were young, I baked a lot. My sons have never gained much weight, but sadly my daughter shares my love of all things sweet.
Any time I mention it, she tends to get annoyed; her response is always that she eats healthy and gets plenty of exercise.
I worry more about her health than about her appearance, and I value my relationship with her.
I have offered to pay for any good weight loss program, but she always says, “No thanks. I’m fine.” She did agree to have her thyroid tested, and that test was normal.
Is there any way to bring up the subject of weight with an adult child in a kind way?