Life Advice



Ask Amy: A fresh divorce brings on new questions

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

– Don’t Want to be Judgmental

Dear Judgmental: No one knows what goes on in another couple’s marriage, but my observation is that even long and loveless marriages can hang on until another potential partner enters the scene, which often serves as the impetus for the couple to finally separate.

Generally, when a separated or very recently divorced person introduces another partner to the family very quickly after parting with the spouse, it’s a sign that the new person has been on the scene for a while.

Your brother-in-law and his former wife might have had an understanding or were negotiating about how to handle their marriage and outside relationships prior to their divorce.

The girlfriend’s public posts indicate that there is an overall lack of shame regarding the relationship, and whether this is because they are actually shameless or perhaps reacting to a much more complicated personal situation remains to be seen. It is really none of your business, but if you’re curious, you could ask – but I suggest you work hard to keep your harsher judgment in check.

Dear Amy: I have two friends, both of whom live across the country, who like to call me for extended conversations.


Both of these people talk nonstop and miraculously seem to have evolved out of the need for air, because I spend these calls waiting for a tiny pause that would allow me to blurt out that I have to go.

When I imagine telling them that I really don't like talking on the phone, I feel sure they will feel insulted.

As it is, I only answer every third or so call, but it's still too much.

Any ideas for how I can end these calls without sparking animosity?


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