ArcaMax

Convey to the kids that no adult has the right to communicate with them in this way, that it is unacceptable, and that you feel extremely sorry that this has happened. You do not need to offer up any additional explanations.

Yes, the kids are angry with their mother, but the primary violation at this point was committed by the outraged person who is attempting to weaponize your children against their mother (and in the short term, it seems to have worked).

You should reach out to your ex – personally or by phone (not text) – to let her know what has happened, if she doesn’t know already.

The kids might be better off staying with you full time until the stepfather is out of the household.

If these allegations are true, your ex-wife has a terrible track record. Adultery is adult behavior, but your ex-wife’s adult choices have a potentially extremely destabilizing effect on her children.

I think you should also contact your lawyer to see what your longer-term options are, in terms of ensuring that your children reside in the most stable environment possible. Currently, their mother’s household doesn’t qualify.

Dear Amy: I’ve been attending the same small Protestant church for several years. I’ve gotten involved with committees, have served on the board, and have been a financial mainstay – helping the church to keep its doors open.

My main motivation is to worship for an hour or two on Sunday, and to receive the sort of spiritual uplift that I seek through my faith practice.

Unfortunately, even though we’ve managed to keep the church running, welcoming a revolving door of disinterested ministers for the past several years, I sit in the pew on Sundays, my mind racing with church business and completely unable to focus on the service.

I’m seriously considering leaving this church and looking for another that will better meet my needs, but I feel very guilty.

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