Life Advice



Ask Amy: Traumatized veteran seeks healing

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I'm a 41-year-old man. My wife is 34.

We've been married for 15 years. We have two children, ages 14 and eight.

Our marriage has been difficult, mainly due to my PTSD from Iraq and an opioid addiction. Once I got sober, I shut out the world.

I was an avoidant parent.

My wife stuck with me through all of this, but 18 months ago she confessed to a short-lived affair.

We've decided to reconcile. I've since changed as far as being avoidant, she's changed and made great efforts, but I'm so profoundly affected by her affair that I tend to get stuck and have a hard time getting through the day without being angry or sad.


I know I was a crappy husband. She wasn't perfect either, but this whole thing about her stepping out of that marriage is crushing.

I'm trying to forgive, she's working hard on everything, and yet I often feel very empty and lonely, as well as angry.

We've had counseling for about 14 months, but I feel like I need to find healing for me, not just the marriage.

I'm finding it very difficult. Any advice?


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