Ask Amy: Fun guys make trouble foraging fungi
I would prefer to answer, truthfully, that we have been married for 30 years. When an incredulous look inevitably follows, I could add: “…and we formalized it last year.”
But then some people could respond: “But you have only been married for 1 year...” as if to place a huge asterisk on our marriage.
Besides insulting our proud and deeply personal milestone, their conditional definition diminishes the true story of our lives together.
So – what should our answer be to the question of how long have we been married?
– Happily Married
Dear Married: Congratulations on your long and successful relationship. Clunky encounters with others might be causing you to anticipate more – with a somewhat defensive stance.
You can describe your relationship any way you wish, including to say you’ve been married for 30 years. If someone doesn’t like that answer or challenges it, then – that’s on them.
It would also be quite simple for you to say, “We’ve been married in our hearts for 30 years and legally married for one – so I guess that makes us the longest-married newlyweds on the planet.”
Dear Amy: “Hurt Feelings” was a man who’d received a sports injury but was upset when his close friend “Bart” didn’t acknowledge it.
Dude needs to man up! Many guys grew up getting injured on the sports field and their coaches didn’t kiss their boo boos.
– Former Athlete
Dear Athlete: Compassion doesn’t hurt a bit. You might try it.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2022 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
