Ask Amy: Abuse survivor wonders how therapy could help
– Perplexed Mother-in-law
Dear Perplexed: Why would you mention this lack of gratitude to your son? Afterall, of the two of them, he is the one who thanks you.
Depending on the nature of your gifts, your daughter-in-law might sincerely believe that they are primarily directed toward your son or for his benefit.
Or, while she should express her gratitude to you for all sorts of things, including everyday kindnesses, she may believe that because these gifts were given to both of them, her husband speaks for the two of them when he thanks you.
You might prompt a verbal thank you from her by asking, “Have you and ‘William’ been using the rice cooker we gave you for Christmas?”
Dear Amy: Thank you for your response to “Annoyed,” who was dealing with the legacy of a mother who clearly favored one child over another.
I especially appreciated this line: "Parents write the script, while siblings spend the rest of their lives reciting it."
That is so true, and reciting my own script – over and over – trapped me in a previous reality.
With the help of a therapist, I started to rewrite the script. It can be done.
– Recovered
Dear Recovered: Congratulations on your recovery!
Any of us can find ourselves trapped in our storylines. Recognizing this, and evaluating our motivations, can help to rewrite the script.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2022 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
