Ask Amy: Construction noises are too much for the pup
This isn’t a recent rift, but something that has grown over the last 30 years.
I chose to keep my distance from her because she constantly puts me down.
I have pointed this out to my father. Frankly, I just want to be left alone.
I do want to keep in contact with my elderly parents, so I stay in touch with them, but what can I say to my father, other than to get flat-out angry?
I don’t understand why he always takes her side.
– Keeping My Distance
Dear Distance: Every parent wants their children to get along. This desire simply goes along with parenting.
I hope you will be understanding and patient with your father.
When your father brings this up, you can respond with “mirroring.” This is simply reflecting back to him his own thoughts, so he knows you have heard and understood him.
You don’t need to elaborate, cast blame, or justify your own actions: “Dad, I know you want us to be better friends, but it’s not happening, and it’s not your fault. Let’s talk about something else.”
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