Life Advice



Ask Amy: Marrying couple masters the art of asking

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Parents: The marrying couple should be responsible for financing their wedding. One way to do this is to ask both sets of parents to contribute and then to plan for the wedding they can afford.

Your son and his fiancée may seem especially bold when it comes to the “asking,” but that’s all they are doing – they are asking.

All they need from you is an answer: “In addition to the sum we gave you for your down payment, we’ll pay for the rehearsal dinner. We were also planning to give you a check for [name the amount] as a wedding gift, and if you would like it now rather than later, let us know.”

This couple is responsible for managing their own expectations. This is “adulting” of the first order.

Dear Amy: This has happened several times since my husband died:

I live alone, and people drop off food for me.


This happens without my knowledge, so I can't tell them in advance that there are many foods I can't eat.

I am very grateful that they think of me, but I just don't really understand the concept.

I am not a shut-in, I am not ill, and I could certainly stand to lose some extra weight.

Today a co-worker knew I was coming home from a weekend away and dropped off a very spicy stew. She texted me to say she had left it at my house.


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