Ask Amy: Grandson’s name causes angst for grandma
I was so hurt because we had just had our baby.
I confronted him about it and, of course, he denied it, but I already knew it was true because I had seen text messages on his phone.
I told him that if he continues to work there, we will have issues, and of course he is still employed there.
I’m wondering — what I should do?
– Hurt
Dear Hurt: If your husband wants to try to restore his relationship to you, he should admit to this, and start the process of trying to regain your trust by behaving differently.
When couples are earnestly trying to reconnect, rebuild their relationship, and restore trust, they generally embark on a challenging process that involves a lot of effort and a lot of change. If the affair partner is a colleague, then yes – changing jobs would be part of this process.
However, reading between the lines here, I sense that your husband isn’t eager or ready to make big changes.
Marriage counseling would help both of you to talk about this — versus you making accusations and ultimatums, with him denying and ignoring. If he won’t attend, you should go by yourself.
Dear Amy: “SO Gauge” wrote to you about a model train set that had become an awkward item from childhood that the father was trying to give to the adult son.
I loved your suggestion that the two men visit, set up the train, and get it running one time before perhaps selling the set online.
– Big Fan
Dear Fan: That idea was something of a cinematic fantasy on my part. I hope they do it.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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