Ask Amy: Future family visit is rapid-tested
The neighbor is 41, unemployed and spends all of his time smoking pot and playing video games.
I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm disrespected, dismissed, and set up on a shelf until HE'S ready for me.
I'm ready to leave. I've tried talking with him, but he's only interested in pointing fingers at me. He suggested that we go to couple's counseling, but I said that unless he's willing to discuss his issues, counseling won't work.
He wants to do what he wants, when he wants, and with whom he wants. It sounds like he wants to live as a single man with no accountability to anyone!
What's your take on this?
– Fed Up
Dear Fed Up: My take: All of us want what we want when we want it. That includes you.
It does seem controlling for you to declare that therapy “won’t work” unless it follows a path you dictate. On the other hand, given your history, your guy’s behavior would trigger your own sense of loss.
Your relationship has broken down. Maybe your guy should move in with his neighbor. You’d then decide if you wanted to grant him visitation.
Dear Amy: “Sad” wrote to you about her friend who had an elderly failing pet, but is unable to let go.