Life Advice



Ask Amy: Hookups lead to friendship, followed by ghosting

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Through some unusual circumstances too complicated to explain here, I met another man about seven and a half years ago.

We first met for a sexual encounter and soon became lovers. And then we became good friends.

We are both well into our elder years, and are regularly tested, so we know each other's health.

Prior to our meeting, his husband as well as my wife had long since lost interest in sex, so sex was the initial attraction for both of us.

We live in different cities, but manage to see one another several times a year. Sometimes we may only meet for lunch or supper and just talk — hours and hours of talk. Other times we have the opportunity to be intimate with one another. We share our thoughts, our dreams, family issues, concerns, etc.

The last few months his communications have slowed down. At this point, I have not heard from him in a few weeks. No explanation, no messages, no nothing. I guess that is what is called "ghosting"?


My question is this: I feel like I at least need some sort of closure. I will be in his city in a few weeks.

Should I try again to make contact with him so I can have a sense of closure?

How might be the best way, and how persistent should I be? Or should I just let it go?

– Ghosted


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