Ask Amy: Abusive mother now solicits funds by lying

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Apr 8, 2022

Any advice?

– Girls Only?

Dear Girls: I’m going to sidestep your gendered assumptions about what men and women enjoy doing with their free time, but I do agree that it can be liberating and empowering to spend some leisure time away from spouses and children.

And yes, your daughter spending an evening a couple of times a year enjoying some solo time with her mother does not seem like an onerous burden for the left-behind spouse.

If your son-in-law complains to you, you should work hard to understand that he isn’t criticizing you, but perhaps he doesn’t have the friendship or family ties to have these experiences, himself. He wants in!

And yes, it would be good for everyone if you made an effort to ensure that he feels very much a part of your family. (Also, maybe volunteer to babysit the kids so these two can go out together!)

If he “gripes at her” about your night out, then that’s primarily her issue to deal with. If she passes this along to you, you could ask her what she believes might be behind his complaints, and invite her to talk about it.

Dear Amy: A writer named “Madison” complained about her prospective bridesmaid’s “hideous” tattoos.

Of course, you sided with her. Tattoos are important personal expressions. They are part of the person who chooses them. Covering them up is not an option.

– Inked and Proud

Dear Inked: I am not anti-tattoo. This particular bride was doing what many brides do – she was trying to control the way her attendants looked.

I only affirmed her right to ask these women to cover up during her wedding.

I assume they might refuse.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)