Life Advice



Ask Amy: Biological father and son can’t seem to talk

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

My sons told their father that I’m their mother and he is their father and that they would not disown neither one of us.

My ex never spoke to them again.

Now it’s been 12 years. My ex died of lung cancer. His family never notified my sons that their father was dying or had died. I found out by accident when I ran into my ex’s distant cousin. My ex was an alcoholic and he drank till the day he died.

I hired an attorney to look into a will and to our surprise my ex has intentionally omitted his sons from his will.

My ex’s family took everything. I feel like his family should have given my sons something, but they took it all.

What do you think of this?


– Devastated

Dear Devastated: I think that your sons got lucky to have you as their fierce and protective mother.

Everything about their father’s family’s behavior tracks. They did not “take” these things — they were given these things. And they decided to keep them.

I hope you will do everything you can at this point to continue to help your sons manage their own confusion and sadness.


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