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It has gotten so bad that I just assume I will never see them.
The worst part is, they send us messages saying, "We will be in your state for the next week and would love to see you," but they always make excuses.
My children always ask when they will see this family member's kids (their cousins), and I am honestly tired of telling my kids that they have canceled on us.
What should I do?
– Tired of Trying
Dear Tired: It sounds as if it is something of a journey for your family member to travel to their second home, and that you live some distance from this home.
They obviously are not willing to extend their journey to visit you.
The next time they message you that they will be in your state, you should be honest and say, “We really want to see you, and the kids are eager to get together, but we never seem to make it work. What are your suggestions?”
They may ask for you to drive to their home. They may hedge or make a plan and then cancel.
I agree with your sentiment that if these family members really wanted to see you and the kids, they would work harder to make it happen.