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Dear Angry: People can linger for days after being taken off life support.

And sometimes, people linger and then seem to “wait” to die until a loved-one has left the room.

At least, this is what the hospice nurse told me when I left the room briefly during my own vigil. I learned two minutes later that my loved-one had let go the moment I’d left.

Did I abandon this person to die alone? No – the goodbyes had been expressed. I just … went to the bathroom.

My honest take is that you are upset that you weren’t with your brother at the end. Please don’t judge others’ choices too harshly – there is no one way to do this, and people’s capacities differ. Don’t let anger crowd out your own grief.

Dear Amy: I recently read a letter from a preschool teacher who gives each student a copy of the book she reads to them every day.

I don't think anyone other than a teacher or the student getting that beautiful gift, realizes the impact of the gesture.

In first grade, my son's teacher made hand-beaded animals and gave each child their favorite animal for their birthday.

As he climbed into his booster seat, he put his birthday turtle into the cupholder of the door. Whenever we got a new car, it was placed in the same place.

My son is now 29 and that beaded turtle is now in the cupholder in his car. Sometimes we just don't realize that the little gestures of kindness are carried with us along our life's path.

– Mom with Memories

Dear Mom: Sometimes, kindness is carried on the back of a hand-made turtle.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

©2022 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.