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Ask Amy: Upset MIL might not foot wedding bill

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I was thinking a neutral location would be better.

Does it matter that I will be paying for the wedding?

Do I have to pay for the alcohol provided at the reception?

Is it appropriate for me not to provide financial assistance if it’s held in a Catholic church?

– Future MIL

Dear Future MIL: Your views and comments regarding a Catholic wedding are blatantly prejudiced, as well as unkind. How would you feel if your future son-in-law or his parents responded this way regarding your own faith practice?

 

It is important for you to recognize that this wedding is NOT about you. It is about your daughter and her future husband.

If you had demonstrated the grace to stay silent during this pre-planning phase, and simply let the couple openly explore their ideas in their own way, they would learn on their own that a Catholic ceremony might not be possible for them, for a variety of reasons that would be explained by the priest.

Do not interfere.

In my opinion, you owe your daughter and her fiance an apology for your reaction, and a promise that you will do your best to listen without interfering as they excitedly describe their plans.

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