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Ask Amy: Relationship’s in trouble if values don’t align

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and for the most part it has been amazing!

This is the best relationship I've ever had.

We're very much in love. We have talked about marriage and one day starting our own family (he has three children, I have none).

The problem is that recently, my perspective regarding things I've believed all of my life has shifted.

For example, I've believed in monogamy and have worked hard to be monogamous.

However, I no longer feel that monogamy is right for me.

 

I no longer have any desire to be with only one person for the rest of my life. I don’t want to deprive myself of the experiences that this ONE life has to offer.

I revealed my feelings to my boyfriend during the summer and suggested an open relationship. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, because as much as I love him and he loves me, I don't think he can handle it.

I told him I didn't see any other way our relationship could work. It all seemed fine until he learned that I had actually slept with someone else (actually, multiple people).

It is obvious that he is hurt, even though I've tried to explain to him how my sexual desires for other people don't reflect my love for him.

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