Ask Amy: Woman wants to get out of her own way

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Nov 30, 2020

Four weeks after the loan, we texted her to ask what the status of the loan was and she went ballistic on us, sending us a terrible text.

We haven’t heard from her since then. She sent us $2,000 recently, but there has been no other communication.

We are not sure how to handle this.

— Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: The dynamic after loaning money to people often seems backward when the recipient responds to generosity with hostility or defensiveness, rather than with gratitude. I suppose that this is because the act of asking for money exposes a tender touchpoint. By asking, they are admitting that they have failed.

I suggest that you remain steadfast. Don’t bite the hook your daughter dangled with her rudeness; this was either consciously or unconsciously meant to distract you from the fact that she and her husband owe you a substantial amount.

Communicate with her: “You asked for what you needed, and we responded. There is no need for you to be hostile; just let us know when you can repay the rest of the loan.”

Please, remember this the next time she hits you up.

Dear Amy: “Line Cook” reported being extremely aggravated by the chef’s constant whistling in the kitchen.

This person should research “misophonia,” which is an extreme aversion to certain sounds. I’m surprised you didn’t mention this.

— Fellow Sufferer

Dear Fellow: Many readers mentioned misophonia, which I have discussed in previous columns.

But – a person doesn’t need to suffer from a neurological disorder to be extremely aggravated by the sound of constant whistling. It’s annoying!

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)