Ask Amy: Adoption complicates clan’s wedding plans
Is there any way to come out of this without seeming like the ***hole?
— Guilty, Angry and Frustrated
Dear Guilty: The basic math to friendship is this: You receive roughly the equivalent of what you invest. “Carrie” is getting from you what she has invested in you — the minimum.
At this point, you should respond to her with compassion for her loss, but not bite the hook if she baits it. Tell her, “I realize that I have been a real disappointment to you. I hope you have other people in your life who are there for you in the way you want them to be.”
I think it’s OK to seem like the ***hole, as long as you aren’t one.
Dear Amy: I could not believe your stupid advice to “Independent,” the woman whose in-laws stayed at their vacation cottage and did a “deep clean” while there.
If the place is so filthy that it requires a deep clean, Independent should be ashamed of herself.
— Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: “Independent” implied that the cottage was not filthy, and I believed her.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2020 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
