Ask Amy: Prospective parents worry about racist relatives
If all of this doesn’t mean anything, then why is it all kept a secret?
— Paranoid?
Dear Paranoid?: There is paranoid, and then there is gaslighting. You are experiencing the latter.
Because your girlfriend is so big on boundaries, I think it would be a good idea for you to establish some. For starters, she (or you) should move out. She is not interested in being in the kind of relationship you want to have.
Dear Amy: As a genealogist who values family stories, I disagree with your advice to “Half-Sister” to not share some letters she found. You ask, “What good would be served?”
Look what a great life “Barb” was offered by her adoptive parents because of the loving decision of her birth mother to have her adopted. The letters address real life and how people work through problems. Barb needs these letters.
— History Keeper
Dear History Keeper: Many adoptees (and others) have let me know that they disagree with my advice — to offer this newly discovered half-sister an edited selection of letters written between her two biological parents. I stand corrected. Thank you all.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
