ArcaMax

I ran into the father 20 years ago in a work-related setting and couldn't believe how warm and helpful he was.

I would like to reach out to the father and let him know what high regard I have for him. In raising my kids, I have often thought of him and wanted to emulate his positive behavior.

I have no desire to seek out the son (my former friend in high school). I realize it might seem a little odd to the old friend that I would reach out to his father, but not to him, so how should I handle this?

-- Conflicted

Dear Conflicted: You are almost 60 years old. High school is long behind you. If you have this older man's contact information, then write him a note. Unless you need to contact the son to obtain his dad's address, there is no need for you to include the son in your outreach.

This is a very thoughtful and kind thing for you to do. Don't overthink it - just do it.

Dear Amy: I disagree with your response to "Deceived," who attended a wedding ceremony and reception, and later learned that the wedding wasn't legitimate (no wedding license).

I don't feel the couple needs to share the details of their wedding ceremony. They invited guests to share in their wedding celebration. The license is only a piece of paper. It is no one's business if they didn't legally tie the knot. The only mistake made was the couple not keeping this information private.

-- L

Dear L: I received many responses to this letter, including from members of the clergy. All agreed with you, that -- when celebrating a wedding -- the presence of an actual wedding license should not matter.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)