Ask Amy: A neighbor's visit rattles a relative
You should continue your daily contact. Do not lecture or scold her from 2,000 miles away. Do not dwell on the dangers of this virus. Keep your contact as pleasant as possible and use this time to connect with her in ways that are positive for both of you.
Your anxiety is not as dangerous as COVID-19, but it does create stress and worry for your elderly aunt, which is not good for her.
Dear Amy: My cousin has canceled me. I'm in my 50s and she's in her 60s. I've always regarded her as a role model, but she is one of the most cynical people I've ever known. She's smart, had incredible professional success, and hangs out with very accomplished people. I've always felt inadequate around her.
My cousin dropped me because - in brief -- she perceived me to be sanctimonious.
In my mind, the only way I can get out of bed in the morning is to do something to help others. If I did nothing to improve this world, I would slit my wrists. I suffer from depression and can't justify my own existence unless I am helping others.
Should I try to explain this to my cousin, or should I just let it go?
Having a relationship with her always required a lot of work on my end as she analyzed everything I ever said -- right down to the punctuation.
Having a relationship with her meant a lot to me.
My relationship with her 93-year-old mother has largely been conducted through her. I can't envision visiting her mother, for example, if I'm not also seeing my cousin.
What do I do?
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