ArcaMax

Instead of being your partner, your wife has partnered primarily with her sons, and your assigned role is to assist her in making sure they grow up to be entitled man-boys, who have little respect for their surroundings, and no life skills.

These sons are behaving exactly as they have been taught. A 10-year-old can make his bed, load the dishwasher, and learn how to make pancakes for the family. Yes - even teens will do their jobs (reluctantly) if there are consistent consequences attached to both positive and negative behavior. High-functioning families work as a team, understanding that their daily health and happiness is interconnected.

For things in your household to change, your (new) marriage will have to change. Your wife will have to agree to put the marriage at the center of the family system. She will have to stand alongside you, instead of undermining you.

You and she should have a heartfelt talk - not about the kids, but about your marriage, and how devalued you feel. This book should help you to get started: "Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship," by relationship researchers John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman (2007, Harmony).

Dear Amy: Help! My family and I have been trapped in our home for a month now, due to our state's shelter-in-place rule.

We are all coping pretty well. Our kids are staying pretty much on track, and my wife and I are doing our best to stick to a routine. Our anxiety isn't too bad. Obviously, we are all spending a lot of time together - and that has been (mostly) good for us.

My problem is this: Boredom. In normal times, my wife and I stay very busy. Now, I feel bored - super-bored - for a part of every day.

Any advice?

-- Bored Dad

Dear Bored: I could give you a list of suggestions about trying new things, doing home workouts, and reading ALL the books, but for most of us, boredom creeps in, anyway.

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