ArcaMax

Yes, you've made mistakes. Admitting this is definitely a step in the right direction, but you don't get to claim victimhood, here. Until you take responsibility for your parental neglect, passivity, and terrible judgment, you cannot hope for a reconciliation. Even your Facebook-stalking seems to me more melodrama than the action of a mother desperate to make things right. You are not Stella Dallas standing in the rain, wistfully watching your daughter through a window. You are not the victim of her blocking you. There are many ways -- other than Facebook -- to contact someone, however, until you can commit to positive change, it is probably wisest for your daughter to keep her distance.

A compassionate and competent counselor could walk you through the events in your life that have culminated in this moment. With coaching and positive change, the reconciliation you desire might be possible. I hope you will try.

Dear Amy: "Queasy in Florida" wanted to put an anonymous note in the mailbox of a woman at her retirement community, criticizing her behavior at the home's communal dining table.

Thank you for recommending a discreet, in-person conversation. My loving, kind, 86-year-old parents just voluntarily moved into an assisted-living community. My dad wore a hat in the dining room because his head is always cold.

Someone left a copy of the dress code at their apartment door with an arrow pointing to "no hats in the dining room."

My mother was furious, and I was heartbroken that someone would be so catty and cowardly toward my wonderful parents, especially as they were brand new and just getting used to their new home.

-- Protective Daughter

Dear Protective: Nonjudgmental, discreet, and in-person is almost always the best way to communicate.

Dear Amy: I was absolutely blown away by the letter from "Justin," the young transgender man who sent you a follow-up after you published his question about how to communicate with his parents over the holidays.

So many of us in the LGBTQ community are tasked with extremely challenging and awkward social or family-related negotiations. It's not fair to us, but yes -- humor always helps.

-- Been There

Dear Been There: Justin is a special person -- I appreciated hearing back from him that his parents are really coming around. The companion letter in that column, from the mom of a transgender girl, showed how hard it can be for parents to adjust how they refer to their transgender kids.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)