ArcaMax

"Because you are dealing with families and young children, you need to expect the unexpected, i.e., a "bug" is going around, and lots of people don't show up, family members are visiting and join the invitee, or the birthday child is overwhelmed and cries the whole time (most often).

Since young children are not always keen on being dropped off, or if parents are actually invited, you can assume siblings may come too. I don't think there is a polite way to say you are not paying for siblings. If finances are a concern, next year, I would plan a smaller gathering with room for growth."

Dear Amy: My sister and I have disagreed about diet for years; I am vegan, and she and her spouse eat meat (only about twice a week, I believe).

We love one another, our relations are cordial, and we never argue about her diet. When my spouse and I visit, she cheerfully accommodates us.

Although my central reason for not eating animals is that "they don't like it," health is also a major concern, and occasionally I send my sister a link with a scientific study pointing out the health-protective benefits of plant-based diets.

I try to be sparing with the links, because I know people who are always dispensing health advice can be annoying.

With the COVID-19 epidemic, my concern for my dear sister's health is mounting. We are both well past 65, she has had major health crises in the past, and I want her to be alive and well for many more years.

I would like to send her some links showing that adopting a plant-based diet quickly fosters a healthy microbiome (gut flora) that boosts one's immunity -- without putting her off.

Amy, I know dispensing physical health recommendations isn't your job. But if you would consult some nutritionists and check this out for yourself, and -- if you find it convincing -- mention it in your column, it might help my sister decide to stop eating animals, at least for the duration of the epidemic.

In fact, knowing there is something we can do to strengthen our immune systems now might help many, especially the elderly, to be less fearful. Fear can do a lot of damage to society.

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