Family vacation leads to traumatic incident
Dear Amy: Our new son-in-law, "Brad," is in his mid-30s. He seems like a nice person, but several times during big family dinners he has announced he doesn't like the food I've cooked. He gives no particular reason; he just doesn't like it, and he lets everyone know as we're sitting around the table that he doesn't like it. I'm left apologizing to him.
This last time he rejected my marinated flank steak, a longtime family favorite. Before that he complained about Thanksgiving dinner. He doesn't like turkey. Who knew?
What is my obligation here? I want to please my guests, but how much must I cater to him?
I hate to stop serving family favorite dishes. But I also don't want to serve them and have him feel as though I'm being insensitive. Nor do I want to cook him separate meals because that could start a slippery slope if they have kids.
-- Perplexed MIL
Dear Perplexed: "Brad" has called you out, publicly. You should speak to him about this, privately. Say, "Brad, I'm pretty embarrassed when you say you don't like the food I cook. I want you to be able to eat with us, so if you could suggest some things you like to eat, I'll try to incorporate them into our meal the next time we get together."
Otherwise, if the rest of the group (and you) love what you do, then keep on doing it. Brad may have to pack his own meal of hand-picked favorites.
Dear Amy: My heart dropped at the question posed by "Undecided": "Is there ever a right way to ask someone of childbearing years if they plan to have children?" As someone struggling with infertility, my knee-jerk reaction is to say, "NO. NEVER."
Since we don't live in a perfect world, I'd like to advise that anyone who asks be aware that it is none of their business. It's an invasive question.
-- Been There
Dear Been There: Absolutely.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
