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DNA testing uncovers terrible legacy

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Ask your brother if he thinks his mother would be open to contact from you and your family. If so, you should reach out via letter, FB message or email. Identify yourself. Say how happy you are to get to know your brother. Tell her, "We realize the circumstances surrounding his birth must have been unimaginably hard for you. We are all so ashamed of our father -- he was an awful man on many fronts, but what he did to you was truly terrible. My sister and I -- along with our mother -- want to express our sorrow and solidarity. We would like to get together with you, if you are open to that."

Dear Amy: My life is complicated right now. Responsibilities at home prevent me from traveling for more than an occasional overnight.

Travel has always been important to me. I have many things to be grateful for and try to focus on what I can't have.

I have shared my disappointment with my friend. She goes on many trips and sends pictures, long stories and details about their wonderful adventures. While I am happy for her good fortune, I sometimes feel that she is insensitive -- kind of like showing an elaborate meal to someone who is hungry.

Am I oversensitive?

Thoughts?

 

-- Frustrated Traveler

Dear Frustrated: I think you are experiencing an almost universal frustration for those of us left at home to see curated versions of others' awesomeness. (A friend's beautiful photos of her fun family vacation on the Amalfi Coast recently sent me into a mini-tailspin.)

You don't mention how you are receiving these stories of your friend's far-off travels, but if it is through social media, you can easily scroll past them (or temporarily "mute" them).

You should also consider that your friend believes she is being generous to share her detailed travel experiences with you, so that you can be an armchair traveler alongside her.

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