ArcaMax

It evidently has never occurred to your (apparently) high-functioning husband that your income and glorious travel perks would change -- even as he watched you leave your job to have his baby.

A person who clings to the concept of "fairness" has not absorbed what it really means to be a parent or a partner. Nurturing a human life requires adults to dig deep, recalibrate and surrender to the concept that life is not fair. Ideally, life should feel balanced, but no -- it is not fair.

Did you expect your husband to carry half of your pregnancy? No. You did that. Is he breastfeeding, dealing with teething, singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" on a loop? No, he is at work, holding up what you assumed to be his part of the parenting and partnership bargain.

According to a much-publicized survey released by Salary.com, a stay-at-home parent works about 96 hours a week and should earn an annual salary of $162,581. This high figure reflects the multitude of roles the stay-at-home parent assumes. Have you two assigned any financial value to the unsalaried work you are doing at home?

You also seem to have entered this phase of your life with some unfounded assumptions -- that you would continue to enjoy corporate-style vacations, funded by your high-earning husband, for instance.

You two need to have a lengthy and detailed heart-to-heart regarding your roles and expectations. A relationship counselor could help.

Dear Amy: I'm a young teenager. I recently discovered that I'm bisexual, but I have homophobic parents who I know won't accept me when I come out.

I can't hide it from them forever, but I can't come out either.

My grandparents won't understand (they say that gays should die).

I have no idea what to do! It hurts me and causes anxiety when I think about coming out. Any suggestions?

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