Husband and dad ponders leaving his marriage
I can't say whether staying together for the "sake of the kids" works, or whether it would work for your children. Every family has a different dynamic. But children never benefit from living in a combative household. Your daughter may be clinging to you because she senses that you are on your way out. Or she is clinging to you because you offer her a safe haven from your wife's volatility.
When you accuse your wife of not having "class," it is a bit of a hot button, because this "class" concept is a tricky one. It is appropriate (and "classy") to review your own behavior to see what you might do differently to increase the harmony in your household, and to take ownership for your own failings.
You also need to get a handle on your own emotions. You obviously have lost respect for your wife. You are very angry and resentful. You feel she has deceived you. You say that she is refusing counseling or that counseling doesn't "work" for her -- but what about you? Counseling could help you to clarify your options and intentions.
Yes, your kids benefit greatly from their daily Daddy time. But divorce does not mean that you will disappear from your kids' lives. If you and your wife split, they might do best with you as the primary parent.
Dear Amy: Can you comment on this sort of rudeness?
On a 2-1/2 plane ride, the nicely dressed, middle-aged woman next to me continually snorted her "mucus" back up her nose.
She needed to blow her nose badly, but chose this "solution" instead. Most grade-school children have better manners. Unbelievable!
I thought of sweetly telling her, "Honey, if you go into the bathroom, there is tissue in there so you can blow your nose and you won't have to keep doing that," but I chickened out.
What should I have done?
-- Flabbergasted
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