ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I am responding to a recent question in your column from "Vicariously Misunderstood in Denver." The question concerned a 9-year-old boy who did not want to be hugged by family members -- and yet they persisted in hugging him.

I spent many years and early childhood caregiving. I am also the spouse of a minister and have worked in and out of children's ministry for over two decades. At one of the seminars for early childhood education, my colleagues and I learned about children who do not like to be hugged, but the greater theme was teaching them about consent and authority over their own bodies.

We were taught a technique for greeting children as they entered our classroom in the morning that I have adopted since: Greet them by name with any brief pleasantries and then ask them if they would like a high five, a hug or a wave today?

The letter writer should share this technique with their relatives. You would be surprised to know that when you are respectful like this and give the power to these little humans, over time even the ones that don't like hugs will occasionally pick the hug option.

-- MeanMsM in FLKeys

Dear MeanMsM: I enjoyed watching a "viral" video shared several months ago of an elementary school teacher who greeted each of her students offering the "hug, high five or wave" option. This array of simple choices is ideal. As I pointed out in my answer to "Vicariously Misunderstood" -- and as you illustrate through your experience -- this is all about respect and consent. This message of consent applies to boys as urgently as it applies to girls.

Many years ago, I offered my own very shy daughter another option: I called it "the silent hello." It involved making eye contact and smiling when an adult greeted her. Getting even to a verbal "hello" took some time, and practice.

Dear Amy: "Frustrated in a Toxic Workplace" noted that employees in her new company seemed to resent her, "mostly because I ask for services (such as cleaning of my office), and for appropriate equipment to do my work."

I've worked at one of the largest corporations in the country for quite some time, and they had no housekeeping staff. Everyone was expected to clean their own office space -- management included.

It worked really well.

-- Anon

Dear Anon: Well, that is refreshing -- and revealing.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)