Insecurities are triggered by jealousy
You should also read Po Bronson's inspiring book, "What Should I Do with My Life?: The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question (2003, Random House).
Dear Amy: I just received an Evite to a wedding that I've been told will be lavish.
The couple is in their 50s and 60s. They've been together for over a decade. They have requested no gifts other than monetary contributions to their honeymoon. They have traveled extensively, including to the honeymoon destination. Is their request tacky? Am I living in the past?
-- Wondering
Dear Wondering: The Evite and the request for money don't scream "lavish" in my mind, so you might adjust your expectations somewhat before attending this wedding.
And the "no gifts, except for money" instruction is misleading.
This couple, it seems, wants to have many things both ways.
Honeymoon registries are a fairly recent phenomenon. Although they present challenges for traditional people, when you think about it -- at a wedding you want to give the couple a gift they will use and enjoy.
If this couple had set up a honeymoon registry, guests would be invited to contribute to specific experiences, such as: "breakfast for two," "ziplining through the forest" or any number of other experiences related to their trip. It is simply more satisfying to fund a specific experience, versus forking over cash.
Dear Amy: "Won't be Bullied" was threatened by her sister-in-law.
I think it might be advisable for her to reach out to her brother.
If the brother's wife is willing to behave that way in the "public" setting of a family gathering, it's likely that her behavior is even worse in the privacy of her home, where the husband may be suffering in silence.
I suffered through abuse from my own wife for several years before I broke the silence. If a friend or family member had reached out to me, I may have started the healing process sooner.
Dear Healed: Absolutely. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
