Man wonders if he is a worthy rival to his GF's phone
-- Library Lover
Dear Lover: All of our libraries are changing, as they transition from being silent places where the books stood sentry, to places that are more like community centers.
I applaud these changes, even though I know it's a tough adjustment (I'm currently writing this column in my own local library).
A library is the perfect place for children to gather, and I hope you will keep this in mind, even as you cope with the annoyance.
Ask your librarian if there are designated quiet times or quiet spaces where silence will rule.
Bring along some headphones to wear. With noise-canceling headphones, you will only hear the sound of your own breath. This might be a game-changer for you.
Dear Amy: I was very moved by the letter from "Hurt and Sad," who was upset when friends didn't extend condolences after her father's death.
I want you to know that this particular line really got to me: "Showing up as a witness to someone else's loss is a vital expression of our own humanity."
I've cut it out and put it in my wallet.
Thank you.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: I wrote that line, and yet even I need to remember that doing the hard work of "witnessing" is profound and important.
No one ever knows what to say or do after a loss. And so starting with, "I don't really know what to say" is both honest and acceptable.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
