ArcaMax

Or do I release it at the woman immediately after my companion ... even though she is a woman?

I'd appreciate your take.

-- Gentleman

Dear Gentleman: Here's the good news. The world has finally shifted on its cultural axis, and lovely and thoughtful people like you no longer have to worry excessively about gendered door-holding.

Whoever gets to the door first should open it. If the door is especially heavy, or if you instinctively want/need to do this, you should position yourself, or scoot in and say, "Here, let me get this." (Like you, I am a champion door-holder, because I spend lots of time with elderly and frail people.)

The idea being that the stronger/younger/hardier person opens and holds the door, releasing it gently to the next stronger/younger/hardier person who comes along, without regard to gender.

And here's a counterintuitive tip, especially for my winter wind-blown Chicago friends.

When approaching a revolving door, the younger/stronger person should go FIRST. This way you can thoughtfully control the speed of the door, making sure your companion gets through safely.

Dear Amy: I was genuinely shocked when you revealed that you had smoked cigarettes, and vaped!

This is awful, unhealthy, and hardly behavior we should expect from someone dispensing advice!

-- Disappointed in You

Dear Disappointed: I'm honest about my own frailty and failings. I think it's the only appropriate response to readers who are equally honest, searching, and trying to improve.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)