Family member is harsh toward autistic child
-- Invaded
Dear Invaded: I'm genuinely sorry that you have to deal with this. These inquiries remind you of a painful experience. You have the right to navigate through the world on your own terms. Unfortunately, some people simply don't respect this.
I assume that you understand that some people might have a specific reason for asking. For instance, they might have had a similar experience. But yes, you have the right not to discuss what is going on with your body.
A slight revision to your "Why do you need to know?" reply is, "Why do you ask?" But this response invites an answer and further conversation.
You could also respond simply, "I had cancer," or, "I understand you're curious, but I don't want to talk about it."
Dear Amy: I identified with the letter from "Confused." Her longtime boyfriend's parents displayed large pictures all over their house of the boyfriend and his ex-wife.
My mother-in-law did this, and it made us so uncomfortable! Finally my husband had a private talk with her and she removed all but one of these photos. We were fine with this.
-- In the Picture
Dear In: These parents might also be waiting for their son to marry his girlfriend.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
