Family member is harsh toward autistic child
Dear Concerned: I agree that your niece's behavior is unacceptable. But please don't stop attending family events. Connecting with family members who understand and love your daughter, just as she is, is good for all of you.
You should reach out to your niece and tell her, "Your cousin has autism. The noises she makes are part of the way she communicates. She cannot always control her behavior. You don't have autism; you can control yours. I understand that being around her seems to make you very uncomfortable, but your behavior toward her is unacceptable." If there is a book or resource describing autism that you can share with your niece -- education might help her to modulate her own behavior.
Dear Amy: Earlier this year I developed lymphedema in my right arm. It is the direct result of having had lymph nodes removed during a mastectomy.
I now wear both a compression sleeve and a fingerless glove to manage the swelling.
My problem is when complete strangers ask what happened.
I usually respond with, "It's a long story." Yesterday I responded in this fashion and the person asked: "Is there a short version?" This was in a very public place. I simply said "No", and continued on my way.
I have no desire to provide an answer to this question.
It's hard enough to have to wear these garments (permanently) and sometimes they trigger very negative memories about my breast cancer experience.
Frankly, on some days, I feel snarky, and want to ask people in return, "Why do you need to know?"
What other phrases can you come up with that are both socially acceptable and effective in stopping further questions?
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