ArcaMax

However, if she were truly controlling him, she wouldn't have to "guilt" him, because he would always do what she wanted him to do.

As it is, it seems that he is saying "no" to his sister at least some of the time. However, he doesn't seem comfortable (yet) with the boundaries he is trying to establish. He should see her behavior when she doesn't get what she wants as an indication that at least part of their close relationship has a toxic tinge.

Is he working toward maintaining some healthier distance from his clingy twin? If so, you should talk to him about his efforts and ask if there are ways you can support him.

If you truly see this as a creepy attraction between siblings, you might as well say so, but keep in mind that she came first in his life and consciousness, and likely always will. A less reactive way to frame this might be: "I'm really struggling with your close relationship with your sister, and I feel it's creating some serious boundary issues. Can we talk about this?"

If his sister has successfully designated you as her rival for her brother's attention and affection, you should understand that you will not prevail. Any sibling relationship is powerful; the twin connection is in a category all its own.

Dear Amy: I love my boyfriend of four years very much. We are both in our 20s.

We've been through a lot and always have fun when we're together.

However, I've been feeling that I need more out of this relationship. I need it to move to the next step. I want us to move in together, but my boyfriend has made it clear that he's not ready for that.

A week ago, I met a different man out at a bar and haven't been able to stop thinking about him. We exchanged numbers, but I stopped answering his texts because I felt guilty, and didn't want to hurt my boyfriend.

I want to focus on my relationship with my boyfriend, but I don't want to miss out on other opportunities with other men.

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