ArcaMax

2) You and your family find a nearby Airbnb with a kitchen. You can all hang at the in-laws' house, but this will take the meal-prep pressure off of them.

3) You and your family announce that you would like to bring much (or all) of the Thanksgiving feast to their house. You can prepare most in advance and perhaps cook only the main dish at their house. Ask your mother-in-law to prepare one of her favorite dishes.

Yes, the prospect of cats on the table is disgusting (I have cats in my own household).

Yes, having pet food bowls on the counter is unappetizing -- and encourages them to graze on the counter.

Your wife has spoken with her folks several times about this, so assume that conditions at the house will not change. Be gentle, diplomatic and friendly: "We're going to give you a break this year about cooking meals. We hope you'll let us do the shopping and cooking."

Dear Amy: Alcoholism has plagued my ex-husband's family for generations. My ex's maternal grandfather was an alcoholic. His aunt has been in and out of rehab. The last time she was released from rehab she totaled her car driving drunk the next day!

My ex has been abusing alcohol since he was a teenager.

Since he is now my ex-husband, this is not my problem, except for this: My oldest son, "Danny," just turned 21. My ex-husband gave him a large bottle of wine for his birthday, as well as tickets to Las Vegas so they can go drinking together. His grandmother sent "beer pong" supplies for his 21st birthday.

I am horrified. It's like they are intentionally trying to induct my son into their long line of alcoholics! I thought about calling them both and yelling at them, but I decided to write to you instead. What do you make of this?

-- Horrified

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