Abused siblings want to speak out
Our mother is 78, and she is active in her church, where she likely has contact with children.
Confronting her will likely achieve nothing.
What should I do?
-- Guilty
Dear Guilty: First, you should create a safe and open space where your siblings can tell their stories, if they want to (some might not want to talk about this).
Tell them you believe them, and emotionally hold them close. Your own experience might make this sort of intimacy challenging, but now is the time to "come home," figuratively, to be the best and most loving version of yourself that you can possibly be.
If a sister wants to go to the police, go with her, regardless of the statute of limitations.
And yes -- confront your mother. If being in her presence would traumatize you, then write her a letter, as individuals or as a group. If you truly believe that she is a potential danger to any children, then you are duty-bound to report this to her church clergy, as well as to the police. But if your main impulse is to ruin her reputation in her church community, then I don't believe you should do so.
RAINN.org offers a 24-hour telephone hotline (800-656-4673), with an online chat option. Contact a RAINN counselor for advice and local services.
Dear Amy: My daughter is getting married. We are not allowing "plus ones," because of the expense.
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