Pregnancy news is tinged with loss
Those invitations started to stop, so I asked to go places with them. Sometimes they would say yes.
I have many interests and participate in them on my own. But I would like these friends and family to ask me to do things with them.
What I especially dislike is the posting of their activities on social media. I realize that I am now an "odd" person.
I also realize that everyone has their own lives. Should I just learn to live with this?
-- Lonely
Dear Lonely: This is your new-normal, and to a certain extent, you will have to adjust both to the feeling of exclusion, and to the need to build other newer relationships. If you have asked to be included and are being rebuffed or overlooked, it might be best for you to "hide" social media postings that trigger your loneliness.
It can be very challenging to develop friendships later in life, but joining groups and/or volunteering where you are likely to meet peers will help. Making even one new and close friend will help to mitigate your loneliness.
I recently became aware of the term "elder orphan," which describes someone in your circumstance. While I don't particularly love this term, this phenomenon has been recognized because it is ever-more-common, and social media is helping people to connect. Consider joining the "Elder Orphans" Facebook group (facebook.com/groups/elderorphans) to meet others who share this status and to communicate about ways to support one another.
Dear Amy: I love your column, and read it every day. I got a chuckle out of the letter from "Upset," whose ex-boyfriend surprised her by coming to work at her workplace.
Several years ago, I went into the office, which thankfully I didn't do very often since I was outside sales, and the new coworker was my ex-husband!
Everyone thought it was hilarious! I said it was fine with me and never said a word about his work ethic.
True to form, he was gone in less than three months. Problem solved!
-- JoAnne
Dear JoAnne: Well played!
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
