ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I'm very close with my immediate family. In fact, I set my brother up with his fiancee, an old friend of mine I'd known for years.

I'm over-the-moon excited for their wedding, but my happiness was dampened when it was revealed that I was the only member of the groom's family with no involvement in the wedding whatsoever. I am not in either bridal party (the other two siblings are), and I haven't been asked to do so much as a reading at their ceremony. There were no tensions or arguments that could have brought us to this point, in fact, we were planning a vacation together before the wedding so they could take some much-needed relaxation on my dime.

It has recently come to light that every member of the bridal party is much different than me in appearance. Specifically, I would have been the stereotypical "fat bridesmaid."

I used to be extremely fit, but after an unfortunate injury and resulting surgeries, I've packed on a considerable amount of weight. I've been perfectly healthy since and am working to get back to a healthy weight.

Everyone else in the bridal parties fits a very neat and tidy uniform aesthetic, whereas I would be the only black sheep in what would have been an ill-fitting bridesmaid's gown.

Should I bring this up to my brother or future sister-in-law, who until recently I was very close with? We used to talk often, but ever since I was excluded from the wedding festivities, it's been radio silence.

-- Reluctant Wedding Guest

Dear Reluctant: Your brother and his fiancée have the right to include -- and exclude -- anyone from their wedding ceremony.

You in turn have the right to react to it, and I think you should.

I agree with your suspicion that you are being excluded because of your size.

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