ArcaMax

I have never met her or spoken to her and feel completely powerless in this situation.

-- Powerless in Florida

Dear Powerless: Your boyfriend's mother has given him a strange ultimatum. A more appropriate one would have been for him to simply pull his grades up, or leave college. Parents who interfere to this extent in their kids' relationships don't win. She is inviting him to either lie about the relationship, or to come home because she doesn't like his academic performance -- and then she will have a resentful college dropout on her hands. And by the way, if he leaves school, does he get to stay in the relationship with you?

Your guy should negotiate by asking his mother to give him a semester to show improvement. He may need to consider a different major.

He should decline to discuss your relationship with his mother. Part of emerging adulthood is learning to self-regulate (perhaps limiting your time together so he can get his work done). This is his responsibility, not yours, but if you can help him to budget his time without pressure from you, then you should.

Dear Amy: "Frustrated" was facing the heartbreak of a daughter with addiction.

My wife and I dealt with the exact same thing, and we were extremely angry, sad and frustrated.

After years in and out of recovery, our daughter overdosed and could not be revived. I wish we had been more understanding.

-- Grieving

Dear Grieving: Your reactions were human. So is your loss and grief. Many families are experiencing this right now, and it is heartbreaking. My sincere condolences.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)