Aging woman puts herself on a desert island
I have seen her drive away in that condition and have tried to stop her, but she denies drinking and we end up arguing about it. I haven't told her I found her stash. What should I do?
-- Worried Husband
Dear Worried: Alcoholism is a disease. It is not a referendum on your marriage. Obviously, your wife's drinking and secret stashes of alcohol are having a big impact on your marriage, but your relationship itself is not the cause.
You should confront your wife, calmly and lovingly, and let her know that you are aware of her drinking. Tell her you are worried about her, and ask her to get help.
If you are aware that she is driving drunk, you should call the police to report it.
You have some decisions to make regarding how you will cope with this, but you can't control whether she will drink. An Al-anon support group could help you. Check Al-anon.org for a local meeting.
Dear Amy: "Sisterly Love" reports that an inherited ring threatens to ruin her relationship with her sister.
My sisters and I let this happen in our family after our father died. We fought about stuff, and it tore our family apart.
It all seems so stupid, now.
-- Regretful
Dear Regretful: "Stuff" sometimes carries symbolic weight, and so people who fight over stuff are often fighting about something else altogether. I hope it is not too late for you to work on repairing your own relationships.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
