ArcaMax

Dear Mama Bear: You should make every effort to meet this friend, and to meet the friend's mother. I wonder about the wisdom of sending a child to stay with a parent who has this sort of criminal record, and so you should try to determine if what you have uncovered is true. The teen might not even be aware of some of the things you have uncovered about the father, so speak with the mother.

Yes, once you determine the facts, be frank with your teen, and be especially frank about any contact between your teen and this father, online or otherwise. Express an open attitude toward the friendship between the two teens because you are right -- none of this is the child's fault.

Do not push so hard that your teen is tempted to hide anything or becomes defensive about the friendship.

Dear Amy: As part of a very challenging career change, I've been volunteering with a tiny nonprofit that has a great mission but, I've come to learn, is also dysfunctional. It is now on life support.

I've stuck around mostly because I'm learning useful skills that I can put on my resume, or at least deploy in ways that might benefit me.

I ultimately gave this organization several months' notice, with a promise to tackle whatever they needed me to, within reason. Recently, I agreed to do one last project over the last few months of my tenure -- a project designed to take stock of where we are and maybe, possibly, save us from having to disband. This is also a project I could grow in.

I've been venting to my mother about all my misadventures with the organization (especially the founder, who I'm convinced is its main problem), and my mother thinks that the organization is so obviously done for, that I'm not doing anyone any favors by participating in the project, which of course is a substantial time commitment for me.

Mom thinks I should sit the founder down and say, "Look, this is over. All the evidence says that it's over. I want to follow through on my commitment, but I honestly think we're delaying the inevitable. Do you want to just call this whole thing off?"

Aside from job-search and resume strategy, what do you think is the most ethical way forward?

-- Diligent but Frustrated

Dear Diligent: If the purpose of your final project is to take stock and see if the organization can be saved, then you should fulfill your commitment and honestly present your findings to the founder (and the board, if there is one). It sounds as if your mother is urging you to pull the plug early, in order to save you from the time commitment and frustration of sinking with the ship, or from seeing your recommendations disregarded.

If you truly believe your mother's take is correct -- that the ship will sink, regardless -- then you should be honest with your assessment -- sooner rather than later. This would give the organization an opportunity to try to change and possibly survive.

Dear Amy: Responding to the question from "Concerned," whose new lady love had an erotic thing for riding tandem on motorcycles -- may I suggest he get a back massager for her? Might do the trick.

-- Faithful Reader

Dear Faithful: Maybe he should be the back massager.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)