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Inherited family ring causes big stink

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

You should have the ring appraised. Whichever family member wants the ring should purchase it at an agreed-upon price, with the money going to the other siblings. If more than one sibling wants the ring, perhaps they can bid for it, in a private family auction.

If you are being continuously manipulated and stomped on by your sister, and if you've finally "had it," then all you have to do is to behave differently. You don't need to shout, push back or provide historical analysis and explanations.

When one person in a relationship starts behaving differently, the other person generally thrashes around for a while, acting out and trying to force the relationship back into familiar patterns. You should expect this from your sister. If she goes deep and silent for some weeks or months, then let her stew until she understands that while you love her, you're not the pushover you used to be.

Dear Amy: I am a man in my mid-20s. I have been dating my girlfriend "Cassie" for about four years. I love her. Lately I have started noticing strong feelings I have for my friend "Holly," whom I have known all my life. Growing up I always had a crush on Holly, and I am very confident that she liked me that way as well.

I have been spending more time with Holly, due to certain work-related circumstances, and I can't help but feel giddy whenever we interact. I seem to be more excited to spend time with Holly these days than Cassie. I don't know if it's due to the novelty of spending time with her again, or if I am more in love with her than Cassie.

The biggest problem would be if I had to break up with Cassie. She is 100 percent sure she wants to marry me, and she can be pretty emotionally irrational when it comes to fights or loss. I think she has the potential to cause herself harm if I were to end things.

Please help me sort through these feelings and figure out what I should do.

-- Anonymous and Confused

 

Dear Confused: I don't know which woman you love more. But I do know that the fear of breaking up and the fear of your partner's reaction to a break-up are the worst reasons in the world to stay together. Do not let your fear, or your girlfriend's emotional manipulations, run the show.

Dear Amy: I wanted to support your stance on a young person not informing his bigoted aunt about his sexuality.

I am a 55-year-old bisexual, and when I came out in the '80s I let my loved ones know, but I didn't tell everyone. Why, because I get to choose who to tell.

-- On Your Side

Dear On My Side: I've learned a lot from responses to this issue. I can't imagine having to even make this decision as a teenager.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


 

 

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