ArcaMax

Steven might not have intended to deceive you two decades ago. You could assume that he sincerely wanted to commit to you and your children, but found that he could not sustain his interest in you, for whatever reason, and possibly more than one reason.

Steven might be gay, or bisexual or something else altogether along the very wide sexuality spectrum. Unless he is physically or emotionally abusive, it is not your job to "out" him or to warn other women about his sexuality.

Your assertion that you continue to feel betrayed and heartbroken over a relationship that didn't work out for you 20 years ago gives me pause. How, exactly, did this person "take advantage" of you? Do you think being in a relationship with you and your children for a short time should commit him to staying with you?

You should try to put this failed relationship into a context with your other great loss (your husband's death), and find a way to let go of your lingering anger.

Dear Amy: We are invited to a graduation party of a young man and his siblings. The young man is a triplet! I've known him for many years, but really don't know his two siblings, who are also graduating.

Am I required to -- or should I -- bring them a gift, too?

-- Wondering

Dear Wondering: You are not required to do any particular thing. But yes, it would be kind if you gave each of these three a small gift. Kids this age can always use money, and if you can afford it, you could write them each a check for $20.18 (marking their graduation year), or slip $10 into a card. Write a special message for the boy you know the best.

Dear Amy: Thanks for your helpful response to "Worried Gran" regarding how, what and when to tell her grandchildren about their parents' (seemingly amicable) upcoming divorce.

I would add a recommendation that divorcing parents consider seeking out divorce mediation.

My former spouse found us a mediation service with excellent counselors; using them instead of starting with lawyers helped us continue effectively raising our two pre-teen children after we were no longer married. Also, I believe the price was less than lawyers alone might have charged.

-- Peacefully Parted

Dear Parted: My former husband and I also used a mediator when we divorced. I think it was the best decision we ever made. Mediation helped to preserve our relationship as former-partners, and always-parents.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)