Hyper-competent professional bored in her job
Another idea is for you to set a timeline, save aggressively, and then look into starting your own business. You seem to have the aptitude and attitude of a successful entrepreneur.
Dear Amy: I am 75 and in very good health. I have two sons, two daughters-in-law, a son-in-law (my daughter recently died) and five grandkids.
For many years, I have been having family holiday and birthday dinners at my home for 10 to 16 people. I am happy to do it and happier to be able to do it. Recently, a friend was staying with me when I had one of our family dinners. She got up to help me serve, clear the table and clean up. Later that night she mentioned that no one else in the family even offered to help.
She said that in the future, I should ask for help. I am afraid to embarrass them, thinking that they might not come in the future, and that none of them will host such gatherings. What's your opinion?
-- "Helpless" Granny
Dear Granny: Your friend is right -- you should ask for help after hosting and serving your large dinner parties. Not only will this assistance ease the burden on you, but the act of pitching in will involve your family members in vital ways, and also give them a real stake in these celebrations. And get those grandchildren involved, helping to set or clear the table.
I hope you will ignore the voice in your head telling you that family members will only gather when you wait on them. In my large family, the "menfolk" clean up after the big dinners, which is only right since they sit like lumps during the preparation.
Dear Amy: The letter from "Grounded Dad" made my blood boil. When these grandparents publicly berated their grandsons over pot the grandparents found (while snooping), they likely ruined their relationship with these teens. My grandparents called me out and embarrassed me when I was a teenager, and I never forgot it.
-- Been There
Dear Been There: These grandparents disrespected the entire family by interfering in a matter which was, after all, none of their business.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
