Entire family opts out of destination wedding
You should NOT punish these people by behaving like them. All the same, you should rethink your social obligations toward them: attend their celebrations if you want to, but decline promptly and politely if you don't.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I were ready to move in together, but we had trust issues we could not work out. He has told me a lot of lies in the past, and I admitted that I hadn't been completely honest with him.
I told him I wasn't going to try to make this work if he wasn't 100 percent committed, and I ended it. He begged me to reconsider. We met up and he was upset and crying. We ended up having sex. I noticed fake tan marks and lipstick marks on his bed, which didn't belong to me.
I felt weirdly suspicious, so I asked him to be 100 percent honest with me. He came clean and told me he'd had sex with someone else the day before. He admitted he didn't use a condom with her and hadn't washed before he slept with me. It killed me to think he had been with someone else. I love him so much. He's been begging me to get back together. My family and friends are telling me to move on, but I just can't. Do you have any advice?
-- Upset
Dear Upset: Get tested for STDs. Be aware that the other woman might have gotten pregnant from this glorious one-night stand.
Listen to your friends and family. They love you more than he does.
Dear Amy: "Loving and Blessed" described the challenges of having her ex-husband's wife refer to herself as the mother (not stepmother) of Loving's adult children.
When I married my husband, I insisted that his ex-wife be part of all birthday celebrations and Christmas as a large family group.
I've been referring to myself as a "Bonus Mom" all along to our adult "kids," and we now share two fantastic grandchildren. Everything has gone really well.
-- Lori
Dear Lori: That's the best way to be in a family.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
