Dad might skip graduation because of feud with daughter
Every time we speak, she has an attitude toward me. I don't want to disrespect her because she is my boyfriend's mother. When I address the situation, she gets even more upset.
Now, I have stopped coming around because I do not want to be where I'm not welcomed.
My boyfriend and I live together and he stops by his parents' house from time to time. I have spoken with my boyfriend about these issues and he says not to worry: "They like you."
He really wants me to come around, but how can I?
I believe actions speak louder than words. I haven't spoken to them in months. I'm not sure what to do.
-- Worried Girlfriend
Dear Worried: You are correct: actions do speak louder than words. So let's look at your actions. You have withdrawn completely from your boyfriend's family, and then you blame them for not accepting you.
You should behave the way you would like them to behave: with maturity and respect. This doesn't mean that you have to force yourself on them every time your boyfriend goes to see them, but that you should make an effort to let them know that you are his partner.
He has an important part to play in this family drama. Liking you isn't as important as respecting you and accepting your role in his life.
Dear Amy: I usually agree with you, but you blew it in your response to "Loving and Blessed," who was worried about her kids' stepmother overstepping her boundaries. You stated that if she was in the grandchildren's lives from birth, she should be granted "full grandmother status." NO! She is a STEP!
-- Faithful Reader
Dear Faithful: Every reader who responded to this question agrees with you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
