Husband rejects son and now wants him to leave
Dear Amy: My husband and I adopted my nephew when he was a baby. My husband was reluctant, and has never allowed me to forget how unhappy he has been about it.
Our nephew/son recently turned 18.
We have many issues with him, due to mental illness, low IQ and teenage angst. He refused to attend school for this last year and a half. I enrolled him in a GED program and he has been attending.
My husband feels that because our son is 18 he should move out, or go into a life skills facility.
I feel that he should live with us until he gets his GED, a job and learns a few more life skills. I am working with him to accomplish these goals. I am not saying I want this child to live with me forever, but for at least another two years.
My husband is very verbally abusive to me and my son about this because he feels that I want our son to live with us the rest of our lives.
We have had family counseling and I have had individual counseling, but my husband refuses to go to individual counseling. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
Your advice?
-- Upset Wife
Dear Upset: You and your husband must realize that his constant rejection of your son from the earliest days has likely contributed to your son's problems now. Imagine what it is like to grow up in a household where a child witnesses this sort of rejection and abuse on a regular basis? It would be impossible to mature and function well. The odds are very much stacked against this young man.
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