Wife wants to spend down retirement nest egg
I am the one who has to do all the contacting. She never calls me -- this is the same pattern she gets into when she is on drugs again. She tries to portray on Facebook and to the rest of our family that she is this wonderful grandmother to my children, when in fact she has lied to them and made false promises.
I cannot let her do to my children what she has done to me all of these years. We had no contact for over a year, and I thought this would help her to understand where I was coming from, but I am starting to see that it did nothing.
Should I block her on social media and give myself a break from her again?
-- Distressed
Dear Distressed: You should "mute" your mother on social media, because her postings seem to trigger your unhappiness and anger. Let her into your life "IRL" (In Real Life), if she can manage to initiate contact, and be circumspect and protective regarding your children.
Dear Amy: Sometimes people make me crazy. "Snubbed Cousin" was upset because she didn't receive a "thank you" for a wedding gift.
A gift is just that -- a gift, given freely, without an expectation of reciprocation. The joy is in the giving!
-- Upset Reader
Dear Upset: Expecting a thank you is different from expecting reciprocation. Offering thanks is an acknowledgment of gratitude.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
